Does anyone here who has something you want to do but you know you are not able to do yet you still keep trying even without any result? Or something you know you are going to hate if you get it?  Today I realize that I had something like that happen to me. I admire those who can be the diploma or interpreters for the high-leveled government officers; I wish one day I could be one of them. Yet I also know completely clearly that I hate politics and I am not going to like it any way and I hate being a civil servant. That kind of dull, and unchangeable and routine and political life will kill me. I never notice there are any conflicts or dilemma between these two things until today. I had prepared for today’s exam for a while and hope that I might have a chance of getting it for if it asks for English ability, I am sure I am completely eligible, along with my working experience in British Council Guangzhou, which were somehow similar to what this job required as well. I thought I was of a high chance to win and I also done some preparation for it. Yet the first ten minutes inside, I realized I was not going to make it no matter how well I behave on my translation thing.  I didn’t remember the political structure of China; I didn’t remember the names of those who were on Shenzhou Seven; I didn’t remember the exact number of how many gold medals we won at the Beijing Olympic Games; I didn’t remember… So many things I didn’t know made me without any chance for winning this job. I thought it would be different from the civil servant’s examination, yet it comes out to be more or less the same. I’ve never done anything for being a civil servant and I am not going to. That is not my cup of tea. Politics, the same thing, which I hate so much, has to be taken into consideration.  I suddenly realized this is no something for me. Even though I admire it, even I did my preparation, but it was of a wrong direction. I owns no political sense, not like those who are dying for being a civil servant. It reminds me of some people who also have this problem. There is something they know in their deep heart that they are not going to make it because that’s not so much them or fixes with their characteristics and philosophy in life, yet they just irrationally are in love with. They are not willing to admit it. They are not able to make it not because they are not working hard enough, it’s just because they are just not the right people for that. At least, I finally figure out that I am not going to like it even I get the job. Thank God I was out.   

We love to use the interner language because they are interesting enough to express our feelings, in an internet way. The most popular internet words nowadays should be 囧 in chinese. The ones are not Chinese may feel comfuse when you look at this letter. Never doubt, it’s a Chinese letter. In pinyin, it’s jiong. We use it as a expression “cannot help it”. Don’t you think it looks like a face, vividly. Hah , that’s it. And some other words like 兲（tian），槑（mei）.

 sounds crazy? that's the number one  thing i like to do with my classmates in winter. we do it when we are getting together, shoping and doing nothing (although that does's happen frequently now).  the feelings? it's cool, really cool. but that's not the most important feature, but  it's more dilicious than in any other season.

       today is thanksgiving day! i find my facebook page is full of the words similiar as"happy thanksgiving!" what a pity! i cannot strong feeling the day is coming cos i live in china now not the western countries. but i still concern about today cos i've studied at uic now and i've known some foreign friends here. i'd like to eat turkeies tonight cos they told me it is delicious. and now, i cannot control myself stop thinking about the taste of turkeies. god! please tell me what should i do ?